For a Leader: A Leadership Poem (John O'Donohue)

I waited the majority of my entrepreneurial career to realize a new way of leading and holding the work of entrepreneurship. But you need not wait. The new way is here and available here to you now.

There is no need to change everything today. That is not how we tend to change as humans or as leaders. And the road is paved with experimentation.

If you have followed my writing for any period of time, you know there is no map here; any map I might provide would only be a map for my own journey; it would be of no use on yours. Rather, my hope is to provide a lantern by which you might explore your own path and the forks in your own road.

As you experiment, what may unfurl is your own vision of leadership. Not any right way prescribed, or practiced, by some mythical leader someplace else. But your way. The way you would like to, and perhaps even must, lead. At this time, in this organization, in this market.

No one has done before precisely that which you are endeavoring to do today. Every human endeavor, including your unique company or organization, takes place in its own unique conditions led by its own unique leader.

Therefore let’s explore and find your way.

As we turn together to an exploration of the new way, let me share the following poem with you.

The first time this poem was shared with me, I found the words and ideas so jarring, and so far from my experience of leadership at that time, that I felt equal parts curiosity and anger. Curiosity about whether there was in fact some other way of leading that was as foreign to me as a country I had never visited. And anger because, whoever this John O’Donohue was, I was certain he did not know anything about leading a venture-backed startup.

This surely was a vision of leadership that was for someone else, not for me.

But the curiosity persisted, as perhaps it might for you. And in the end, John O’Donohue’s words became invaluable to me. I hope they may be helpful to you as well.

Welcome, my friend, to your own journey of leadership. Go gently forward. I am so happy you are here.

-Matt

For a Leader (By John O’Donohue)

May you have the grace and wisdom
To act kindly, learning
To distinguish between what is
Personal and what is not

May you be hospitable to criticism.
May you never put yourself at the centre of things.
May you act not from arrogance but out of service.
May you work on yourself,
Building and refining the ways of thought and action
That can make you fully available
To the work you have undertaken

May you learn to cultivate the art of presence
In order to engage with those who meet you.
When someone fails or disappoints you,
May the graciousness with which you engage
Be their stairway to renewal and refinement.

May you treasure the gifts of the mind
Through reading and creative thinking
So that you continue as a servant of the frontier
Where the new will draw its enrichment of the old,
And you never become a functionary.

May you know the wisdom of deep listening
The healing of wholesome words,
The encouragement of the appreciative gaze,
The decorum of held dignity,
The springtime edge of the bleak question.

May you have a mind that loves frontiers
So that you can evoke the bright fields
That lie beyond the view of the regular eye.

May you have good friends
To mirror your blind spots.
May leadership be for you
A true adventure of growth

— John O'Donohue, from "To Bless the Space Between Us"

Why This Leadership Poem Lands (Key Themes)

This leadership poem has stayed with me for years because it speaks to the tensions every leader feels but rarely voices. Here are the themes that land hardest:

• Humility and service over ego: "May you never put yourself at the centre of things" — this challenges the myth that leadership is about personal power.

• Hospitable to criticism: Most of us defend when challenged. The poem asks us to welcome feedback without collapse, a practice I work on constantly in CEO coaching.

• The art of presence: Showing up fully for the person in front of you — not distracted by anxiety in leadership or the next meeting.

• Deep listening: "The wisdom of deep listening" — not just waiting to talk, but truly hearing what's beneath the words. Essential for hard conversations.

• Not becoming a functionary: Staying creative, curious, and growing — not just executing the same patterns on repeat.

• Friends who mirror your blind spots: You need people who love you enough to tell you the truth. Leadership without this is dangerous.

• Leadership as a growth adventure: Not a destination or achievement, but an ongoing practice of becoming. This connects deeply to questions of enoughness — knowing you're enough even while growing.

How to Use This Poem as a Leader (5-Minute Practice)

If you're drawn to this poem but not sure how to actually use it, here's a simple practice I return to:

1. Read the poem slowly once through. Don't rush. Let the words land.

2. Choose one line that hooks you. Notice where you feel tension, curiosity, or resistance. That's your line for today.

3. Ask: "Where am I not living this right now?" Be specific. Not general reflection — actual situations in the past 48 hours.

4. Choose one behavior to practice for 24 hours. If your line was about presence, maybe it's: one meeting fully undistracted, phone in another room. If it was about criticism, maybe it's: ask for one piece of feedback and don't defend.

5. Close with one message you'll carry into your next meeting. Something small. "Listen first." "I'm not the center." "Welcome the hard feedback."

This isn't about perfection. It's about experimentation. One line, one behavior, one day.

Frequently Asked Questions