Why So Many Founders Feel Lonely (And What to Do About It)

Looking for some support? If now is the time to consider coaching, reach out here.

Recently, I was sitting at a weekly community dinner. I looked around the room and found myself thinking about the strength and clarity this kind of connection offers the people there. And I thought about the CEOs and founders I work with.

So many of them feel deeply alone. They are constantly surrounded by people. Leading teams. Raising money. Traveling. Performing. And yet, when it comes to the deeper questions of their lives and the weight they carry, they often have no one to share them with.

It’s common in a first coaching session for everything to spill out. Stress. Doubt. Big questions. And then, almost quietly, the admission: I haven’t said this out loud to anyone.

Not to a partner. Not to a friend. Often, because no one in their life has the context to really understand.

As I’ve been thinking about the next iteration of our work at Sanity Labs, I keep coming back to a simple idea: a well-run company requires a well-run life.

And a well-run life isn’t just about health, focus, or productivity. It includes regular, meaningful community.

This is the piece that surprised me most. And now feels obvious.

I often hear founders say they’ll invest in community later. After the exit. After things stabilize. After the next milestone. In my experience, this is almost always a deferred life plan. The thing we long for gets pushed into the future, and it rarely arrives.

One of the highest-leverage things a leader can do is build real connection now. We are more resilient when we are in close connection with people we trust. We tolerate risk better. We process stress more effectively.

This isn’t a luxury. It’s a design choice.

If I could go back and coach my 25-year-old self as a CEO, I would tell him this: one of the most important investments you can make is in consistent, honest community. Time spent here is not time away from the business. It is in service of it.

I’ve seen glimpses of this in places like San Francisco, Boulder, and New York. But it’s still the exception. It doesn’t have to be. We are wired for this. It’s how we evolved to live.

I’m excited to help foster more of this in my own community in Venice.

If you’re wanting more of this in your life, or curious how to build it where you are, reach out. I’d love to help seed more of this in small groups of founders and leaders.

Once you start moving in this direction, you’ll be surprised how many people around you are looking for the same thing.

Interested in more thoughts on making friends as a founder? Check out my post here.

In the meantime, wherever you are, you are not alone.

Sending you a hug from my desk in Los Angeles.

-Matt

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Looking for some support? If now is the time to consider coaching, reach out here.